In response to the recent Happy School article ‘No Complaining Rule’, a Principal colleague recently drew my attention to the great work of Michelle Loch and her Lochie’s Law. Michelle suggests that every complaint requires at least the exploration of a considered and strategic response, and one that looks to solution rather than focus on problem.

Loch explains, we complain and vent a lot.  She explains that complaining and venting are ‘normal human behaviours, just not all that useful’ in effecting change or feeling better in the long run.

So why do we complain?

Loch explains it as a form of communication.  It can bring people together who are annoyed or frustrated about the same thing but it can also drive us apart and contribute to and fuel the frustration.  It can make us feel better by ‘getting it out’ but it can also be a great way to avoid taking action or facing reality or taking accountability or responsibility.

Loch suggests the following practical ‘ways’ to consider implementing Lochie’s Law when faced with chronic complainers or when you realise you’ve become one yourself.

1. Respond with a simple re-focusing question:  So what are you thinking you will do about this?
2. Check for or help to discover the real issue.  Tell me more about this situation?  It sounds like the real issue is…. .  What do you want to do about that?
3. Call out the pattern.  This situation seems to be a constant and ongoing source of frustration for you.  Do you want to sit down and figure out what can be done to change it?
4. Validate, and hold people accountable for the words they put into the world.  I can see this is really getting to you.  What exactly are you wanting from me in this or are you just venting? Is there are reason you are sharing this with me, because I have no control over it – but I’m happy to help you figure out what YOU are going to do.

I’m sure you will find these suggestions as useful as I have.

You can check out more of Michelle Loch’s insights at leadinghumans.com.au